High Conflict Families

What Is An Identified Patient (IP)?  

Family situations are complex and can easily trigger resentment. This is particularly true if someone in your family has been diagnosed with autism, a personality disorder, or a substance use disorder. This person is often referred to as the “Identified Patient” or IP. The IP often receives a disproportionate amount of the family’s resources. Other family members can feel ignored or slighted. These individuals often feel shame about their resentment even though their emotions are valid.

Defining a High Conflict Family

A high conflict family often looks like: 

• A parent who is struggling with alcoholism and substance use disorder 

• A family member who is on the autism spectrum

• A sibling or partner with a personality disorder, including Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)

Treatment with Cognitive Behavior Therapy

Siblings, children, parents, or spouses need to share their frustrations. I encourage the individual in treatment to focus on their own needs instead of the IP’s objectives. My goal is to help the client recognize the difference between codependency and caregiving and eventually set healthy boundaries.